I am a child of the 80's.
But I'm really more of a 90's kid, having spent most of the 80's too short for roller-coasters.
But seriously, I remember thinking POGS were the most important thing in my life (especially my illustrious Slammer collection). I knew the Macarena, preferred N'Sync to the Backstreet Boys, purchased Lisa Frank school materials, and remember the very first song Brittany Spears ever released.
I thought Empire Records had the coolest outfits...
All shoes had to look like this...
And the best accessory to any outfit was a Gigapet.
I remember the first time I watched The Little Giants and Home Improvement. I was IN LOVE with Devon Sawa and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. One time I even tried putting up a poster of Jonathan...only to have my horrified father come and remove it. I have never quite forgiven him for what he did to my beloved.
You should have seen my face when I realized that they were making a movie together. 0_0
I watched cartoons that rocked...
I played games that still rock...
I dressed like an idiot...
And tried my darndest to look like one too...
ANYWAY...
All this to say that I was about 11 when we got our first computer and discovered the Internets. It was hilarious back then, all that dial-up and excitement about "You've Got Mail!" The first time I met a chat-room it was unreal. I may as well have been speaking to monkeys for all I knew.
Since I was on the cutting edge of online communication, I never heard any of the warnings that any kid today would know by heart. I handed out info willy-nilly, and assumed that all online people were as sweet as myself.
Flash forward to the year 2000. I am slightly cooler (not much, mind), and living in a larger town. I get myself into a chat-room and meet a 19-year-old from a town 2 hours away. The greatest heart attack I ever gave my mother was when she walked into our house to find me on the phone with someone I met online.
The terrified rage that I induced in that woman has been unparalleled to this day.
The rest is just a blur in my memory. All I know is that I ended up with a blind date on the schedule. A blind date with the 19 year-old and myself.
Oh yeah...and my entire family + one.
Now anyone who knows me understands that "straight-laced" isn't my normal approach to life. Frankly, if I could dress like Rainbow Brite on a regular basis I would be ecstatic. Slacks are the closest thing to Satanic that clothing has ever achieved (seriously...I prefer corsets over those stupid things). This opinion is largely due to my status as a fat girl. Slacks were not made well for us.
So as my entire family (and our Irish friend, Michelle) awaited the arrival of Mr. Man at our local Sheri's restaurant, I was the typically enormous amount of nervous.
And here I was, with 6 people ready to give the future love of my life the 3rd Degree. With all this pressure I was starting to feel a bit Romeo and Juliet and fully expecting to meet someone along these lines...
So when the door opened I looked up, held my breath, tried to look comfortable, kicked all of my sibling's legs...and ran smack into a sight that I have never forgotten...
Oh my word.
He was in a suit and tie, standing overly erect, and possessing an expression that just screamed pompous. He then proceeded to stroll over to our table and produce a red rose for every. single. female. at the table. It took us both all of five minutes to realize we were not destined for true love, but we had an entire day already planned out. After lunch, he and I headed out for his favorite thing in the entire world...a game of golf.
Seriously.
Not that golf can't be challenging (trying to hit a shot that did not injure passers-by proved difficult), but it could be safely assumed that I was bored out of my mind.
So after that we headed back to my house, where he began to flirt shamelessly with Michelle (totally understandable..she's Irish and adorable).
We eventually shipped him back home, never to communicate again. I firmly believed that I had learned my lesson and would never, ever, never try internet dating again.
Fool that I was.
To Be Continued...
Oh, and J.T.T? If you're reading this...I am still readily available to give you my unconditional love and adoration.
But I'm really more of a 90's kid, having spent most of the 80's too short for roller-coasters.
But seriously, I remember thinking POGS were the most important thing in my life (especially my illustrious Slammer collection). I knew the Macarena, preferred N'Sync to the Backstreet Boys, purchased Lisa Frank school materials, and remember the very first song Brittany Spears ever released.
I thought Empire Records had the coolest outfits...
All shoes had to look like this...
And the best accessory to any outfit was a Gigapet.
I remember the first time I watched The Little Giants and Home Improvement. I was IN LOVE with Devon Sawa and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. One time I even tried putting up a poster of Jonathan...only to have my horrified father come and remove it. I have never quite forgiven him for what he did to my beloved.
 |
| Devon Sawa |
 |
| Jonathan Taylor Thomas |
I watched cartoons that rocked...
 |
| Inspector Gadget |
I dressed like an idiot...
 |
| Me in my "Cool" clothes. |
And tried my darndest to look like one too...
 |
| My uncle busting me out of accidentally self-inflicted hand-cuffs. Don't ask. |
ANYWAY...
All this to say that I was about 11 when we got our first computer and discovered the Internets. It was hilarious back then, all that dial-up and excitement about "You've Got Mail!" The first time I met a chat-room it was unreal. I may as well have been speaking to monkeys for all I knew.
Since I was on the cutting edge of online communication, I never heard any of the warnings that any kid today would know by heart. I handed out info willy-nilly, and assumed that all online people were as sweet as myself.
Flash forward to the year 2000. I am slightly cooler (not much, mind), and living in a larger town. I get myself into a chat-room and meet a 19-year-old from a town 2 hours away. The greatest heart attack I ever gave my mother was when she walked into our house to find me on the phone with someone I met online.
The terrified rage that I induced in that woman has been unparalleled to this day.
The rest is just a blur in my memory. All I know is that I ended up with a blind date on the schedule. A blind date with the 19 year-old and myself.
Oh yeah...and my entire family + one.
Now anyone who knows me understands that "straight-laced" isn't my normal approach to life. Frankly, if I could dress like Rainbow Brite on a regular basis I would be ecstatic. Slacks are the closest thing to Satanic that clothing has ever achieved (seriously...I prefer corsets over those stupid things). This opinion is largely due to my status as a fat girl. Slacks were not made well for us.
So as my entire family (and our Irish friend, Michelle) awaited the arrival of Mr. Man at our local Sheri's restaurant, I was the typically enormous amount of nervous.
And here I was, with 6 people ready to give the future love of my life the 3rd Degree. With all this pressure I was starting to feel a bit Romeo and Juliet and fully expecting to meet someone along these lines...
So when the door opened I looked up, held my breath, tried to look comfortable, kicked all of my sibling's legs...and ran smack into a sight that I have never forgotten...
Oh my word.
He was in a suit and tie, standing overly erect, and possessing an expression that just screamed pompous. He then proceeded to stroll over to our table and produce a red rose for every. single. female. at the table. It took us both all of five minutes to realize we were not destined for true love, but we had an entire day already planned out. After lunch, he and I headed out for his favorite thing in the entire world...a game of golf.
Seriously.
Not that golf can't be challenging (trying to hit a shot that did not injure passers-by proved difficult), but it could be safely assumed that I was bored out of my mind.
So after that we headed back to my house, where he began to flirt shamelessly with Michelle (totally understandable..she's Irish and adorable).
We eventually shipped him back home, never to communicate again. I firmly believed that I had learned my lesson and would never, ever, never try internet dating again.
Fool that I was.
To Be Continued...
Oh, and J.T.T? If you're reading this...I am still readily available to give you my unconditional love and adoration.
.... to be continued.....? don't leave me hanging here, Rach!
ReplyDeletePlease forgive me for taking down JTT. It was an allergic reaction and I'm not responsible. And five minutes is generous with Mr. Pomp. Instantaneous in my case. In your case it was an act of raw courage that got you through. Risk taker yes: survivor definitely.
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow child of the 80’s – I was just successfully transported to the most embarrassing days of my life. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that I would have paid money to see the rage that your mother mustered for that day.... yup would have paid cash.
ReplyDelete