All of my life I have been told not to make the mistake of looking for the “perfect” man. I was given many solid reasons for this, including the senseless battering of men who may fall beneath my extreme expectations (what can I say, my reputation precedes me).
So in an all-out effort to ensure that I never fell into the trap of too-many expectations, I instead ended up having too few.
I accepted mediocrity because I thought that it was the right thing to do. Love is a choice, so couldn’t I settle for something less than what I wanted and choose to love it? So that’s what I did. I proved that love is a choice that we can make, but sometimes we choose to love things that perhaps we should not.
But where does this leave me? Divorced, fat, grouchy single mom seeks Prince Charming?
PLUS
EQUALS
Never-the-less I thought I would compile a list. THE list. You know, that list that people make about what they really hope for, even if it is ultimately unrealistic.
So prepare for my list. And I do mean literally. You may want to be taking notes here, because I expect to be struck with literary genius.
The Man That I Wish For
1. I WANT A MAN WHO LOVES THE TRUTH:
Being a truth teller is so much different than just being honest. An honest person will say how they think and feel. A truth teller will seek out the truth beyond what they think and feel. I have never once benefited from lies…be they white or black. The truth is what I want, in all things…even in the “does my butt look big in this?” department (Answer: It probably does).
2. I WANT A MAN OF COURAGE:
We live in a world full of cowardice. We are so afraid and so focused on self-preservation that we behave like the villains in our own stories. Courage does not mean that we are not afraid, but that we choose to do what is right…damn the consequences. A courageous man is not an arrogant man, he is not a foolish man, and he is not full of bravado. A courageous man fights to do what is right and just.
I married a man who did not carry me over the threshold after our wedding.
I may have understood if he had at least tried. Hell, he could have DRAGGED me over that stupid thing. But he just assumed that I was too heavy for him to bother with, so he didn’t even try.
I want a man that would find a way, regardless of the obstacles. Someone who encourages me to greater health, rather than telling me not to care. Someone who will stand strong in character when life becomes immensely difficult.
And seriously...what could be more romantic than putting a swing in the doorway. THAT is an awesome way to cross a threshold.
And seriously...what could be more romantic than putting a swing in the doorway. THAT is an awesome way to cross a threshold.
4. I WANT A MAN WHO LOVES ADVENTURE:
Seriously. When I wrote my bucket list at age 12, the top 3 things listed were as follows:
1. Visit every country in the world.
2. Learn a native dance in each country.
3. Taste as many new foods as possible each day.
If that isn’t clear enough, let me be more specific.
I LOVE adventure.
All of my most precious memories involve a situation where I was utterly unaware of what the outcome would be. I want a man who loves having a home and a family, but who is not content to live stagnant. Growth, challenge, and adventure is what I hope for (with periods of peace and rest thrown in ;).
5. I WANT A MAN WHO SEEKS TRUE FREEDOM:
Not the freedom to do whatever he wants, but the kind of inner freedom that produces good things.
I quoted this verse in a previous post, but I’m going to do it again.
An open rebuke is better than hidden love!
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
-Proverbs 27
7. I WANT A MAN WHO WILL TRULY LOVE MY DAUGHTER:
Even though this is late in the list, it is foremost in my heart.
My whole world is intricately woven with my love for my daughter. She is the one that I want to love, protect, teach, encourage…etc. A man without a sincere and healthy love for her could never understand my heart or love who I am…because she is as much a part of me as anything besides God could ever be. 
It is my fervent hope that if I ever found this man that he wouldn't settle for less either. I want to be as awesome for somebody else as I want somebody to be awesome for me.
So that was my list. I may add new things when I think of them (because it's my list, and I can do that). And upon reading my own list I have come to one conclusion...
I will probably be single for the rest of my life. ;)