Most people who know me well understand one definitive truth.
I am a walking Epic Failure when it comes to lying. Seriously. I would be a dream to play poker with, I have more tells than I have skills. When I was young I don't remember getting away with a single thing. I either cracked under the pressure of deceit after about 3 seconds, or my steam-bun face gave me away.
Yup.
However, there is one thing that most people don't know yet. If you remove all of the subsequent guilt from the lie, I could be an Oscar winner.
I am an AWESOME liar during Christmas.
Just call me Snidely. 'Cuz my deviousness will give you mad whiplash.
So...long story semi-short, I lied my bloody face off to my entire family at different times in order to manipulate them into different places and situations and therefore allowing me to create and complete their Christmas gifts.
Oh yeah, I bad. But only sort of, as I had LOTS of help.
Lie number one was designed to give my parents a surprise 3-day anniversary trip, whereupon their return they would find their house and property spotless, repaired, and up-kept.
This is quite a challenge for a girl with barely enough money to buy diapers. So I sent out a call for help. Anyone who wanted to could pitch in financially for the trip, donate needed items, or help with the cleaning. I thought that I might get 5 people.
I got 50.
Some pitched in for their trip (a two-night stay in the Executive Suite at the Cannon Beach Hotel, an ocean-front table at the best restaurant in town, petrol, and a champagne turn-down were all covered).
Some donated much-needed items (meals, garbage bags, laundry soap, essential oils...etc).
And many donated some blood (especially one young man), sweat, and tears.
I usually learn at least one life-lesson a day, regardless of whether I want to or not. But through all this I learned several things, not least of which is how important community is. And trust me, coming from the Great Hermit-Grinch of the Lower East Basement, that is really saying something.
It was just unreal to watch what can happen when people pull together. It actually makes me inclined to do the same for someone else in need. It just boggles my mind how much can actually get done. Obama, please take note.
Now that the plans were laid, I knew the precise track that my mother's brain would take when she found out.
And I would like to say...I was spot on. But I would like to move on from the hilarity of my mother and onto the awesomeness of our friends.
At the end of the insanity, I took the photographs taken by my friend Julianna and my sister Jubie and had them taped up in a collage on the wall next to a beautiful card made by our friend, Kelsey. The following are some of the photos that went up.
Needless to say, it was a raucous time and fun was had by most. I wanted to fully commemorate all of the effort that these people put into my insane plan to bless my parents this holiday season. Thank you all so much, and may God bless you richly.
I am a walking Epic Failure when it comes to lying. Seriously. I would be a dream to play poker with, I have more tells than I have skills. When I was young I don't remember getting away with a single thing. I either cracked under the pressure of deceit after about 3 seconds, or my steam-bun face gave me away.
Yup.
However, there is one thing that most people don't know yet. If you remove all of the subsequent guilt from the lie, I could be an Oscar winner.
I am an AWESOME liar during Christmas.
Just call me Snidely. 'Cuz my deviousness will give you mad whiplash.
So...long story semi-short, I lied my bloody face off to my entire family at different times in order to manipulate them into different places and situations and therefore allowing me to create and complete their Christmas gifts.
Oh yeah, I bad. But only sort of, as I had LOTS of help.
This is quite a challenge for a girl with barely enough money to buy diapers. So I sent out a call for help. Anyone who wanted to could pitch in financially for the trip, donate needed items, or help with the cleaning. I thought that I might get 5 people.
I got 50.
Some pitched in for their trip (a two-night stay in the Executive Suite at the Cannon Beach Hotel, an ocean-front table at the best restaurant in town, petrol, and a champagne turn-down were all covered).
Some donated much-needed items (meals, garbage bags, laundry soap, essential oils...etc).
And many donated some blood (especially one young man), sweat, and tears.
I usually learn at least one life-lesson a day, regardless of whether I want to or not. But through all this I learned several things, not least of which is how important community is. And trust me, coming from the Great Hermit-Grinch of the Lower East Basement, that is really saying something.
It was just unreal to watch what can happen when people pull together. It actually makes me inclined to do the same for someone else in need. It just boggles my mind how much can actually get done. Obama, please take note.
Now that the plans were laid, I knew the precise track that my mother's brain would take when she found out.
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| Stress - "HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE IN MY HOUSE?!!!" |
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| Abject Humiliation - "Oh Lord have mercy, these people saw under my stove!" |
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| Gratitude - "We have such wonderful friends!" |
And I would like to say...I was spot on. But I would like to move on from the hilarity of my mother and onto the awesomeness of our friends.
At the end of the insanity, I took the photographs taken by my friend Julianna and my sister Jubie and had them taped up in a collage on the wall next to a beautiful card made by our friend, Kelsey. The following are some of the photos that went up.
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| Danger was everywhere |
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| Mr. Darcy had the ladies swooning... |
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| Trust me, this basement project required mad scientists... |
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| Babysitters were a crucial component... |
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| I don't know why they took on the kitchen, but God bless them! |
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| Superman...'nuff said. |
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| What the Energizer Bunny looks like in human form. |
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| Smile meets Death-glare...I got that a lot. |
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| The face of lurve... |
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| May the force control your Windex. |
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| He wishes he could be there... |
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| FIRE! |
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| The L-Team Part 1 |
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| The L-Team Part 2 |
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| Morning hair. |
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| WEEEEEEE! |
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| Pizza! |
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| The L-Team Part 3 & 2 + 1 |
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| It had to be done... |
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| Captain Stupendous-Pants. |
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| Food is prepared, or else I would have had a team of helpful, yet murderous zombies. |
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| Light-saber warfare, a necessity at every deep cleaning. |
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| Mowing in the rain...he needed a lot of coffee. |
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| The first task...dishes. |
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| He was present, but useless. |
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| Food for the masses (not me, the pizzas). |
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| Morale was high. |
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| Manly men everywhere! |
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| The bathroom...no sane person would do it. |
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| Christmas window washing! |
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| Cleaning the gutters and the fireplace...in the rain. |
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| I can't believe they're still smiling. |
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| A birthday was celebrated... |
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| As was hair... |
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| And more birthday. |
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| Some people couldn't be with us, as they are odd little foreigners. |
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| Or crazy bikers... |
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| Or just behind the camera and didn't get caught. |
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| Some others were masters at hiding from the lens... |
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| Or just didn't like their photos... |
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| She came, she saw, she conquered. |
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| Lovely |
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| Encouraging... |
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| Smiles for my insane plan. |
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| Darling... |
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| Charmers #1 |
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| Charmers #2 |
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| Santa Claus helped out... |
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| Madame Zora |
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| Photographer #2...also not caught on camera. |
Needless to say, it was a raucous time and fun was had by most. I wanted to fully commemorate all of the effort that these people put into my insane plan to bless my parents this holiday season. Thank you all so much, and may God bless you richly.
Loved your blog. Wonderful that friends coming together could get done in a short time.
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